I have a dog, his name is Max, he loves the snow and me. He eats a lot, even eats my lunch bread. He is old, 7-8 years about and he hurt his hip. He is a yellow lab, as sweet as they come and I think e may have to put him down because he can't stand up. So I'm really depressed and crying as i write this so I won't be on much... everything seems to be working for me today and it was the same thing when Krista died. It was such a good day then the call came in... and I cried... and now I... I just don't know... Max is always there for me. He knows when I'm coming home, he knows when I'm sad, he even knows how to creep out my friends. And I love him so much. I wouldn't run away because of him. I wouldn't even throw my life away if Soundwave came right now, scooped me in his arms, and said he loved me. I would have stayed with Max. I'm so worried I don't want the only guy who has EVER been there for me, no matter what shit I've said, or done. I just don't want my big lovable polar bear to be put down... and this week was going so well. I was going to watch the new Star Trek movie with my dad and I don't know if I can anymore... I-I just am so torn.. as repeat depression victim I always think of the worst case sceanrio... and now one is coming true and I don't think i can take it! I don't want to play in the snow without Max at my side. Winter will becoming nothing but a painful time and I don't want to be alone all the time again... I don't want my brother gone! He is like my brother and best friend a girl could have! I just don't know... if he is put down... I might sink into a never ending depression... not even Transformers could cheer me up... I couldn't even laugh at The Soup, or The Colbert Report or even Doctor Who! I couldn't enjoy Doctor Who... I, I am just so torn.... I just wanted you guys to know that's most likely why I won't be on for days... or so... I just wanted to give a warning and anybody who knows my cellphone number do call.... I could use it...

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